Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fear of Failure vs Fear of Success


Click this button to visit the Insecure Writer's Support Group, hosted on Alex J Cavanaugh's blog.
I know I have a story or two to tell.  Everybody does.  So why don't I see something I've written on a book store shelf?  Why am I not attending a play which I have written?  Why do I sabotage myself from the get go?  I have two main theories:
  1. I am afraid of failure.
  2. I am afraid of success.
The world has tricked us into believing that if something isn't perfect, it isn't worthwhile.  One memory that sticks out from my youth is taking a math test on which I'd scored 97 to my father, who was a chemical engineer.  I had worked hard and thought that was a good grade.  His response upon seeing the paper was, "What happened to the other three points?"  Ouch!

Once we achieve some success, what then?  Can we repeat it, or do we need to head in a different direction?  "One-trick pony" is not a name to which most people aspire.  There is so much emphasis put on getting that manuscript published, but not so much on what happens next.

I had someone tell me once that I tended to "catastrophize" things, or to think in terms of extreme examples.  Maybe I just need to step back from the edge and revel in the process.   

10 comments:

  1. This is something I struggle with too. I worry so much about the "what ifs" and always assume things will be negative that I can't just let myself enjoy the process. It's something I'm trying to change but I know it's hard to do.

    Great to meet you through the IWSG! :)

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  2. And then there is the quote: "The only failure is the failure to try..."

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  3. Thanks for the visit and comment, Julie. And thanks for co-hosting the group this month. Ooooh, and huge amounts of congratulations for your book being published tomorrow! (I read the synopsis on your site, looks very intriguing!)

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  4. Great quote, Liza, thanks so much for putting it in your comment.

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  5. The Ying and Yang of writing. Write the book then promote it. Sometimes we cruise through the process and look glorious while other times we stumble, bumble, and fumble our way through the darkness. But we learn as we go along. The key is perserverance. Good luck with everything along your journey!

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  6. Thank you Stephen. Your words are most encouraging. I was amazed at the number of hops listed in your side bar and am looking to join up on several of them.

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  7. Hi LuAnn. I'm invisible too. I also had a father who expected more. I forgave him for not realizing what his disappointment will did. I put those feelings and memories in my stories. And yes, after 27 years of doubts and fears and anxiety, I was finally published. Now I'm a member of IWSG because being published is wonderful but it didn't erase any of my insecurities.

    My motto, Never give up and never surrender. We're a work in progress.

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  8. Wow...what a great dose of encouragement, Joylene, thank you so much! I got that term "invisible" from the book "Invisible Woman: When Only God Sees".

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  9. Some days, I fear everything. That's why we just have to do it whether we are afraid or not.
    Excellent observation!

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  10. Very true, Elizabeth. To work past fear is to change; to change is to live.

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